April, 20th.

And it was the twentieth of April. Something special happened. And still, someone special was again the main topic. It was that special someone who answered the question. This strangest feeling was still the biggest question. 

It truly was a feeling of joy. A puzzling, an overwhelming one. Anxiety and fear began to walk out of the party. Optimism was winning the battle. Independence and submission stopped their battle as trust and partnership was entering the frame. Hesitation began to struggle in beating confidence. Elegance was winning completely, leaving awkwardness behind. Tranquility emerged as the champion, completely beating agitation. A new lead actor entered the story. It was hope.

This is the chances that we are taking. This is the decision that we are taking. It's not about the relationship. This is about the trust we are both building, alongside each other, while joining our hands. This is about our hope.

Hope that we can always put a smile on each other. Hope of knowing that no physical touch is needed to feel each other's presence. Hope for a place in this prone, weak storage called heart. Hope to always know that each other's presence and absence both mean something to us.

Neither of us may choose who to love. No one knows how the story of hope will develop. Will we vow to embrace each other in our struggle? Will we vow to always join our hands in all ups and downs? Will there always be a reason to continue? Hope will develop its own story. But we are the ones responsible to nurture hope.

It's been a long time for me to be able to feel this way again. Somehow, you have effectively established yourself responsible for making me smile. And I am your source of tranquility. Let me just open that tightly shut door. The door you were so afraid to re-open it. And let me be that special someone who may finally enter that door.

Never have I felt so confused. Nor have I felt this overwhelmed. Though I was happy at the same time. And this time, this joy completely overwhelms the anxiety.

And as this heart keeps on beating and starts to skip even more beats, another big questions ran into this mind. Can I be that someone who wants the best for you? And are you really the answer of my questions?

Well, let me try. And let's work together in this. As a team. As partners. As us. For us.

Kerinduan Malam

Sungguh telah lama tak kurasakan perasaan ini
Ratusan jam, ribuan kilometer telah kutempuh sendiri
Mengejar mereka yang berada di depan
Membimbing mereka yang berada di belakang
Mengagumi mereka yang berada di atas
Menopang mereka yang berada di bawah

Hingga akhirnya kini aku pun tahu,
Kini kumiliki seorang di sampingku
Kamu yang senantiasa menggandengku
Kamu yang senantiasa mengusapku
Kamu yang senantiasa menemaniku

Hingga akhirnya kini aku pun tahu,
Kini kumiliki seorang di sampingku
Telah kumiliki tempat untuk mengadu
Telah kumiliki tempat untuk bersendu
Telah kumiliki tempat untuk berpangku

Ketika semua angan akhirnya terbuka
Ketika semua tantangan terasa ringan
Karena kutahu kau kan menemaniku

Inilah kamu yang sejati di sisiku
Inilah aku yang sejati di sisimu
Dan aku tahu, aku akan menemukanmu
Dan kamu tahu, kau akan menemukanku

Setidaknya,
Inilah harapanku.
Ya, betapa aku rindu kamu dan perasaan ini.